In: Root » » Goals » Idiots, Idiots Everywhere and Not a Thought Worth Keeping
Part of a large and enlightened life is accepting there will always be idiots among us, recovering idiots like me, and those who don't know they're idiots. Idiocy is sometimes defined as a permanent state of stupidity. I disagree. As a recovering idiot, I know I'll always be vulnerable to stupid thoughts, stupid words, and stupid deeds. But I can reduce my dependence on them. That might sound stupid, but I've lived in spite of my stupidity my whole life. I can exercise some control, minimize the debilitating effects of stupidity, and be less annoying to others. In an ideal world, we would have idiot colonies and only allow idiots off the island after they receive a one-year sobriety pin. Recovery would be hard, especially in an idiot-rich environment. Without intervention, the idiots would wander around looking at one another and wonder why they're there. Active idiots do not engage in denial; they're just plain clueless. In most cases, practicing idiots don't make life miserable for the rest of us on purpose. They're not likely to feel as if they're on the island as a form of punishment. They'll probably think they're there for a Tom Peters seminar, which, in a way, is not a bad idea. If Tom yells long and loud enough, some of them might start seeing their fellow detainees as idiots, which is the first step to recognizing the idiot within. "Wait a minute," they might think to themselves. "If they're all idiots, what am I doing here?" It's a long shot, but it might work. Imagine for a moment what your organization would look like if the Idiot Police showed up one day and hauled off all the idiots. Which offices would be vacant? What things wouldn't be done? Would any positive activities cease? Would any negative activities cease? If you found out where your I-Boss was being held, would you send him a postcard? Would you even... ...notice he is gone? ...care that he is gone? ... miss him? ...feel sorry for him? ...wonder what became of him? Back in the real world, there are no Idiot Police. We're on our own to deal with the idiots among us. At least those of us who are recovering idiots know what we're dealing with. Active idiots will remain oblivious to the damage they cause, and non-idiots will just keep tearing their hair out. That's why this article is so critical to your survival. Keep reading. There is hope. Idiots: Stranger than Fiction We can watch Jim Carey depicting an idiot in a film like Dumb and Dumber and laugh. But when dumb and dumber are running organizations, corporations, and government agencies, it's not funny anymore. The ugly truth is that active idiots are lurking all around us. The tentacles of their stupidity reach deep into the lives of millions. Their power is indescribable. Fortunately, idiots are largely unaware of how much power they wield. If I-Bosses knew how many bullets they have in the chamber, things could really get scary. All idiots might be created equal, but there is a wide disparity in how they are endowed by their Creator. Through some mysterious quirk of nature, cosmic hiccup, or an evolutionary belch in the universe, some idiots are granted the freedom to do whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it, and have unlimited resources to do so. They will also receive complete anonymity on demand, no accountability for anything they might choose to do, and not lift a finger to make it all possible. Why is there such power in stupidity? The answer will roll out in front of you like a red carpet as you read on. It's too much to capture in a single sentence or clever phrase. Contexts must be built. Paradigms must be shifted. Thoughts must exit the box. Cosmic Questions We all need to form a pact. I have a list of questions for God that will never be answered unless I meet Him face to face. I suggest you do the same. At least one person reading this article is likely to get through the Pearly Gates if I don't. Whomever among us manages to interview God first can send the information back to Earth. Here are some sample questions: ■ Why did You create idiots in the first place? ■ Why must intelligent people suffer from worry, fear, and anxiety while idiots sleep well at night? ■ What purpose is served by keeping idiots oblivious to the carnage they create? ■ What is the purpose of idiots, anyway? ■ How do idiots fit into the big picture? The question on the mind of every working person the world over is, "Why does God allow idiots to become bosses?" In a world where basketball players are paid more than scientists working to cure cancer and people actually care what Hollywood actors and multi-millionaire musicians think about global politics, the fact that idiots become bosses seems like the cruelest trick of all. Testing the Theory You can clearly see why such profound questions must be addressed incrementally. Shamu couldn't swallow such a big pill in a single gulp. An important initial question to ask, albeit one you might not want to ask, is, "Am I an idiot?" The following quiz can help determine whether or not you fall into that category. If it makes you too nervous to consider yourself as a potential boob, go ahead and use the quiz to assess your boss. Answer the questions honestly. You'll decide whether the test is accurate after you determine if the results jive with your preconceived notions. 1. When something goes wrong at the office I... a. Automatically blame it on someone else. b. Drop important work and focus on damage control. c. Send out for pizza. d. All of the above. 2. When I receive orders to cut my staff I... a. Check the batting averages of everyone on the department softball team. b. Cut the people who challenge me the most to think and innovate. c. Send out for pizza. d. All of the above. 3. When I receive orders to increase production I... a. Threaten to fire the people who challenge me to think and innovate. b. Start a list of employees to blame for low production. c. Send out for pizza. d. All of the above. 4. When I receive orders to cut costs I... a. Cancel the departmental holiday party. b. Force employees to provide their own office supplies. c. Force employees to pitch in for the pizza. d. All of the above. 5. When I'm told to reward employees for good performance I... a. Check the batting averages of everyone on the department softball team. b. Allow employees to order extra office supplies. c. Order extra pizza. d. All of the above. We really don't need to go any further. If you tried taking the quiz for yourself and you threw your pencil across the room before you finished, there is hope. If you took the quiz with your boss in mind, here's how the scoring goes: Each (a) answer is worth one point; each (b) answer is worth two points; each (c) answer is worth three points; and each (d) answer is worth four points. Four points: Just Plain Stupid; five to 12 points: A Real Idiot; 13 to 19 points: A Complete Idiot; 20 points: A Colossal Idiot. How did your boss do? |
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